What God has put together

I have been married for almost 10 years and the institution of marriage is very important to me. If I was a conservative this is where I would rail against gay marriage. But surprise, I am not a conservative, and I think gay marriage is a great idea. Anything that promotes stable, loving, monogamous relationships is a positive thing in my mind.

What is so great about marriage? Commitment. When you get married you commit to the other person. You promise things to that other person. You pledge yourself to that other person. And in that place of commitment you can finally be yourself. Lets be honest, if you're in an uncommitted relationship it's hard to relax. You're trying to figure out the other person, trying to see if this is something that will last. You try to be yourself but you're always putting on your best face because if you don't, then you might not have a relationship. If you showed who you really are or if you spent time working on yourself would the other person still be interested?

When you get married or commit yourself in some way to another person, you can start to let that guard down. Now don't misunderstand, this doesn't mean that you should never try to be your best self once you're married, but you don't have to worry so much. It becomes a safe space and in that space you can delve deeper into yourself and help your partner do the same. You can experiment with all kinds of things in that safe space. Hopefully the energy between you and your partner pushes you both further along on your journeys.

Sometimes if things go wrong in a marriage you can lose this safe space. And then you are reminded of how powerful that space can be. When you're not worried about just surviving, then you can do and be so much more than you even thought you could be. That's why I think marriage is so important. It is so difficult for us to let go of our fear and insecurity and yet to really live, that is what we must do. A good marriage assures both partners that they don't have to worry that their partner will be there for them. It isn't easy. And sometimes it takes a whole lot of work, but knowing, truly knowing that you are loved and cared for can make all of life so much better. I wish for everyone what I wish for myself - a strong and happy marriage that lasts until death do us part.