Big Decisions

Today DH and I made some very big decisions about our lives for the next five years or so. For awhile now we've been deliberating moving from the Washington DC area. There are two major reasons for this. For one DH isn't always thrilled with his job and we've discussed whether he needs a change of universities. And then there is the cost of living around here. Recently there was a Washington Post article about how much you have to make to just survive in this town. We barely made the cut. So much education just to live at a subsistence level.

So for the past several months we have debated whether or not a move to another area might be a way to fix these two issues. It has not been an easy decision. I am a New Yorker and will always be a New Yorker, but Washington has started to become my home. I have lived here for over 5 years and while I spent the first two years wishing I could be back in NY with familiar places and some family support, I have now outgrown that. Instead I have put down roots here. I have several friends who live nearby and over time I have created quite a mommy network. Our best friends even live 10 minutes away when they're not off on a fellowship somewhere. I have basically created my own family here. And over time we have also created a therapy network for Q.

Though my suburban town is far from small, if I go downtown I am bound to run into someone I know. It's actually scary to me how often this happens. I know the area now. I know how to get places and what roads to avoid on the way. There is so much to do and so many things to see here. My kids totally love the museums, monuments, and of course the zoo. And the best part - we live about a half hour away from all of them. Then there is the seminary I plan to attend starting next year, also a half hour away. We also live within walking distance of a well regarded elementary school and within a 10 minute drive of several great playgrounds and parks.

Of course it isn't paradise here. I wouldn't mind missing the traffic or the mosquitos and humidity. It would also be nice to afford things now and then. The Washington mindset can drive you crazy and of course there is the persistent terror threat. I guess there are trade offs to any place you live.

But finally about a few weeks ago, without, it seemed, any definite decision, DH and I settled in to the idea that we are staying right where we are. I won't lie and say having a baseball team here hasn't had some influence in that. I never said we were rational. There are some problems we need to address with work and money yes, but I think right now this is where we want to be.

In the last week DH and I have debated a new question - Should we move to Northern VA to be closer to the church and therefore my work? Right now my commute is anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. In this move we would hope to make some money and move to a townhouse to simplify our outside maintenance. But it would probably mean a longer commute for DH and it would certainly mean starting all over with a new area. It is still Washington Metro yes, but many of our community ties to suburban Maryland would be lost.

We spent most of this rainy afternoon debating this. Q was running around spouting about letters and C was building blocks at our feet while we talked about all we liked and disliked about where we are. It was truly a turning point for us as it became clear that the earlier non-decision we had made about staying in the area was actually one we were both comfortable with. Over time I think we've come to see that this is truly our home, both the area and our specific house. We just don't want to move.

This is huge for us. This January we will have lived in our house for three years, the longest we have ever lived in one building since we have been married. This house, with all it's oddities and needs, and this area, with all it's insanity and beauty, is home. And it feels really good to stop debating it. For a change the future seemed clear. Now if we could just get our best friends to come home and stay, I'd be thrilled. Baby Lyra, C really misses you.