The Parent Social Skills Group

I am on a number of listservs that focus on autism spectrum disorders. They have been an invaluable help to me over the past almost two years. The other day someone was asking about social skills groups in our area. One parent suggested a particular group remarking that as good as it has been for her son, it was also great for the parents that sat in the waiting room and shared stories and suggestions about their children.

On Saturday Q started a new social skills group run by his occupational therapist and her therapy practice. He also attended their camp this past summer. Saturday groups are a pain since they slice into your weekend, but it works better for me since I don't have to bring C in tow. That child has spent a not insignificant portion of her life in the car on the way to various waiting rooms while people worked with her brother. So I went on Saturday preparing to work on my lesson for Sunday School the next morning while I had a few minutes of quiet while Q was in group and C was home with DH.

We arrived late. Saturday morning is not the easiest time to get up and out of the house on time. The waiting room was full of parents. And we all spent the next hour and a quarter talking about our children. No one except another parent of a special needs child really understands what it is like. All of my friends, especially those with children around Q's age, have no idea what my life is really like. How therapies and special education concerns constantly swirl around in my head. How much money it takes to pay for therapy. Or even how it seems like almost my every move has to be figured around dealing with Q.

Having children is never easy. You constantly worry about them, how to best raise them and keep them safe and happy. Having a special needs child raises the bar. Suddenly you need a law degree to know how to influence special education law. You need a therapy degree to figure out which therapy to use and how much is needed. You deal with left over guilt about any responsibility you bear for your child's issues, whether you caused it or you took too long to see it. And always there is the helpful advice from everyone on what to do and how to handle your child. Never mind that none of the advice givers live with your reality day in and day out.

I don't mean to sound angry or miserable. Most days I am far from that. But suddenly when you get around other people who have some idea of your daily life it feels really good to know that others out there struggle the same way you do. Sometimes I feel caught in between two worlds. I know what life is like having a typical child like most of my friends have. For most people I know they cannot say the same about my incredibly wonderful but challenging life with Q. It is nice to have a parent social skills group that understands. Of course that did mean my Sunday morning lesson didn't get prepared until Saturday night. Oh well.