Kind words

It was a banner day for the children in my family. To start with DH is off on a conference (Lucky rotter! When are they going to have a Housewives Association conference? I will certainly send in my proposed paper for that!) and my mother flew in from NY to spend the weekend with me and the kids thereby ensuring we're all alive when DH comes home. C is working hard on being classified as the most devilish, difficult, but adorable toddler in the DC area. So in that quest she managed to get a hold of my mascara this morning, opened the cap, and preceded to smear it all over her new baby doll's mouth. This took all of about 30 seconds, probably a world record time. I'm not sure if she thought she was feeding the baby or putting lipstick on it but she was talking to the baby the whole time she worked and she was very miffed that I spoiled her fun. And yes, this child is all of 16 months old.

Later C decided that the laundry basket at the top of the stairs certainly did not belong there. To rectify the situation she decided to push it down the half flight of stairs to the next level of our house. Only she forgot to let go of said basket, meaning she tumbled down after it. Wood stairs mind you, no carpeting here. This left her with a nasty bruise just below her left eye and it left me with a permanent jittery feeling for the rest of the day. She doesn't seem worse for wear other than having a major shiner. I on the other hand will probably have nightmares replaying her slow motion roll that I was at the bottom of the stairs to witness. It was an accident of course. For the last month of so C has been going up and down that half flight of stairs like a trooper, following her brother and getting things out of her room. She is very careful generally and if she can't walk down holding the railing she will scoot on her bottom. I don't think she quite realized that this laundry basket would move as fast as it did and I was only able to shout out to her as I saw her approach it but I wasn't fast enough to stop her fall. Ah guilt. What else would a mother subsist upon if it wasn't for guilt.

Not to be outdone Q decided he could be as difficult as his sister. Maybe it was because her fall made it necessary to skip his speech therapy or because I was paying too much attention to her afterward, but he decided to go crazy running around the house. Which was fine until he tripped over the dog (she likes to get in the way when you're running around) and seemed to twist his ankle. It isn't swollen but as of tonight he was still limping on it.

To try to end the insanity my mom and I decided to get out. We went to the Border's downtown to check out some books. Only Q, who was apparently tired, fell asleep in the car and then was so out that he slept another 40 minutes or so upright in the stroller while we were in the bookstore. When he finally woke up he was very cranky and still grumpy about his ankle. We had planned to go to a restaurant that served kids pancakes, usually one of Q's favorites, but he was not impressed. As we tried to sit down both kids were out of control. Q was crying, loudly, and couldn't even tell me why. We were in full meltdown mode. The people around us were looking at us. It was quite a scene. After a few minutes the kids got their juice and breadsticks and everyone had something to play with and silence and sanity ruled again. I was exhausted and frustrated and felt like the biggest failure there is. The people in the booth next to us were on their way out. I was thinking that they were probably saying, "Thank God we got away from that crazy family!" while they were leaving. But the woman stopped and patted me on the shoulder and said, God I don't even remember her exact words. It was something like, "Don't worry. He's fine. He's a good boy. My son was just like that at his age. You'll be okay." Just writing that makes me cry. It was one of the kindest things anyone has said to me in a awhile. When you're a mom of a special needs child you are always on the lookout for things that will make your child lose it, or ways that you can calm them when they do lose it, or ways you can apologize to others when you fail at both. She made me feel so good because not only did I not have to apologize but she was praising my kid and she just understood how hard it is, how you feel so helpless sometimes to soothe your kids or protect them from any and all ills. I think I will forever remember that.

So to that woman I say thank you so much. You made what was an incredibly difficult day so much easier to bear. I looked at my now calm children, who I knew would lose it again just as soon as they felt their meal was over and I was taking too long with mine, and smiled. And I deeply hope that one day I can do the same for another stressed out mom who desperately needs reassurance instead of disapproval. And if you ever get the chance to do what she did for me, please do it and make someone else's day.