Everybody needs a wife

You will be happy to know that I have recovered from my pity party last week. Very depressing that. And DH was very concerned with fixing things so I would feel better. Only, as I tried to explain, I'm not sure how much can be fixed. Many of the problems I have with motherhood are the same problems so many other mothers are having. To some extent it is simply the structure of our society that needs to be changed. I cannot change that alone. I think that only after more moms voice their frustrations with societal expectations, perfectionism, and a lack of choices, may we start to see some movement forward.

Some things I can change and I am working on that, but it is a bit like pushing up against a wall. After talking to DH for awhile I told him that what would help some, at least, was hearing that he thought I was doing a good job and he appreciated what I did and that he was willing to make small changes when possible. I know he didn't believe me. But I truly think that hearing, on a regular basis, "Hey, thanks for all you do.", "You're a great mom.", and an occasional "Honey, I'll take the kids for a few hours, why don't you get out and take a break.", would make a difference to me. Everyone needs a wife or mom. We would all like to be cared for, catered to, and given praise. Since I am the wife, I get to do that for everyone else. But I need to be cared for occasionally too. DH is starting to get this. He planned a great Valentines's day weekend. (We even had dinner out by ourselves. Nirvana!) And we are starting to negotiate more about childcare and even chores, instead of me just hearing "I have to work. Period. You have to take care of everything else." Of course he does have to work. And his job is very demanding. But if I make sure not to trample on his his work time, maybe he'll learn to make sure I get some break time. It is all in the balance.

That doesn't solve the whole problem of course, but it can make life more manageable. And right now, I'll take what I can get. That is, until my mail order bride arrives.