Fragile

This morning I followed a link from ABDmom's site to a blog called Et al. I read the post for November 13th and started to cry. I kept reading earlier entries and was touched by the depth of her love for her husband and the incredible amount of pain she has been through and will continue to go through. Her writing is so beautiful and eloquent and I could do nothing but read on and sob.

When you find your soul mate, the person who you feel destined to spend the rest of your life with, you think that person will always be there. They're supposed to be aren't they? Why else would God put you together just to tear you apart?

I am terrified of death, not mine so much, although the thought doesn't appeal to me, but I am terrified of the people I love dying. I comfort myself by thinking we are young and healthy. But as Dorcasina's story shows that really isn't a guarantee of anything. Her beloved was just 35. The reality is that we are just living on borrowed time. We are all fragile beings. As quickly as the leaves fall from the trees, our time here on earth could be over.

Too often I have lived in fear and failed to make the decisions that I wanted to because I was afraid of other people's opinions or I was sure that what I wanted would never work. But I am learning, slowly, that this life doesn't wait for people who cower in corners. Every minute we have is a gift for us to use or waste as we will.

I am so deeply sorry for Dorcasina's loss and I cannot even begin to understand her pain. If something happened to DH...my life would stop. May we all appreciate what we have and live our life as if this day was our last. And please send whatever love you can out to anyone who is grieving today.